Happy Holidays

No, I have not suddenly become politically correct.  But since in my view of the world a bunch of my favorite days occur in this time the title would have had to be insanely long to cover them all, and so the diminutive salutation welcomes you to these thoughts.

So:  Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you all!

Disclaimer:  I may not acknowledge all holidays in the way or for the same reasons that they were created.  Perhaps like most people, the special feeling about a given holiday is different than the original or commonly accepted reasoning.  And that is OK.  So please do not chastise me for not having the same interpretation as you do, nor for not trying to find some way to cast a gloomy miasma around these special days.  Just as I try not to overthink every little situation, which in the past has resulted in a ridiculous number of "worst case" fears instead of "most likely" expectations, it is best to see the good and accept that in a given holiday as well as whatever bad there may be.

It starts with Columbus Day, kind of a prelude to the main event if you will.  Now I have never considered Columbus Day a great holiday.  I know that he was in many ways not a nice man, perhaps even in his own day he may have been thought of as doing wrong in some ways.  On the other hand he did have some admirable qualities, including bravery and persistence, that are undeniable and that many who criticize Columbus would be better off to emulate.  But it is not about the name of the day that I have always liked it.  No, rather it is because it was a day off!  Throughout my Air Force career I worked hard.  At my first assignment in Mt Home the first few months were easy, but when things kicked off I put in a lot of 10 to 12 hour days and 16 hour efforts and weekends were not uncommon.  While no assignment after had me putting in quite this much time, and I was never called on to deploy to the wars, I did feel that the job needed to come first unless there was a family emergency, to the point where most years I sacrificed several days of leave.  So having a day when the office was not even open was a great time to spend with family.  And since I retired I actually have even less time off as the government has made it impossible to be comfortable taking much time off with their drive to lower contract prices at the expense of the employees.  Columbus Day marked the "almost end" of the post-summer "push hard" period, and reaching it meant that in another month or two the holiday season (starting with the non-holiday holiday Halloween, than Veterans Day, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years) was nearly there.  Especially after Sharon and I married, and even more so after Kristi and Chip were born, this meant giving some good times back to those who brought and still bring me such great joy.

As hinted at above, the "real" holiday season, according to Greg, starts with Halloween, which is a favorite both because I had fun with it as a kid and after the dreaded growing up occurred.  And yes it is not a real holiday, but it is so much fun that it counts as one.  The fun was "everything" that we used to do for the big night.  Preparing costumes, putting thin cloth over lights to darken the mood, carving pumpkins.  Over the years I have had costumes ranging from a red coat when we lived in Wernau (a German town and they did not celebrate Halloween but we visited friends at Ramstein without a costume so the zipped up coat was the best I could do), to the very elaborate Black Blob that I made myself.  The Black Blob was created after I had an inspiration while at my first Air Force assignment to cover 100% of me and "hover" without saying a word.  It included a cape, and a lot of loose cloth to give the impression of a flowing, non-solid, shape.  The eyes were covered with a gauze-like cloth.  The impact was tremendous at the Officer Club party, where people tried to get me to talk, to make contact with me by exchanging looks, but could accomplish neither.  Interestingly, some became a bit nervous, while some became a little more friendly.  That costume, in whole or in parts, served for  many years, including taking the kids out in the neighborhood through all the fun years of their growing into humans in our first Virginia neighborhood.  The Blob would hover just beyond the comforting circles of light from yard lights while the kids and Sharon went to get the loot and say hi.  Many home owners would make some comment on the nice costumes, and than be startled as their eyes told them there was Something Else in their yard.  When walking house to house on the unlit cull de sac other families would realize that the kids and Sharon where not alone and sometimes react with startled expressions or responses.  Quite fun.  One of my favorite pictures features a completely at peace Kristi on her first Halloween being held by the Black Blob.  Sharon and I were a bit worried that she might be afraid when first seeing said Blob, but she was never a bit afraid.  I always felt it was a fun time for all who wanted to put on a costume and go outside to show their "real-hidden self" and thought that the kids liked it too.  Unfortunately it turns out that one former child apparently did not like it and somehow learning that saddens me much more than it should have, but I guess not everyone likes the same things.  Unfortunately, in the last few years my ability to spare the time and energy for these pursuits has gone as work takes up more time and my physical condition has worsened, so now I stay at home handing out candy without even carving the great pumpkins that used to be my hallmark; great since I have a skill at carving squash and would find misshapen ones and use the shape in the creation.  Happily, Kristi and Sharon keep the spirit alive, with Chip having helped some before his studies and then job interrupted.  The dogs, Bella the English Mastiff and Bebe the Mini Poodle both greet the ringing of the doorbell with their customary alarm barking, and sometimes Bella is outside, her massive presence perhaps adding a bit of excitement to trick-or-treaters and their parents alike.Such is what time does over time, and little do we suspect that this will happen when we are young.

Of course after Halloween Veteran's Day is only 11 days away.  Commemorating the peace that settled over the battlefields of World War I on the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month in 1918, and the millions who died fighting the "War to end all Wars" when what had been the costliest war in man's history was brought to a conclusion, the weary peoples failed to see that by trying to punish the losing powers that they were sealing the doom of the next generation to fight an even more horrendous war twenty years later.  So the holiday is not one of joy, but rather somber reflection.  But it is also time to spend with the family since it is a "real holiday", which as noted above is a good thing.

Next in line is Thanksgiving.  A celebration of the Europeans coming to America, though many of the "everything the Europeans have done is evil" crowd do not like this special day either, I like it in part for the fact that as with pretty much everyone else in the US that we are much better off than if the European invasion had not occurred.  Think about it.  Would the Native Americans ever have reached the accomplishments that we have if they had remained the dominant culture?  And yes, their people often do not share in the benefits of the modern America.  But I think much of that is by choice.  Since they choose to stay out of the mainstream life they choose to not benefit from it.  And that is their right, although expecting to have both the benefits and to stay off the path that earns those benefits is illogical.  Of course the USA has not always done good, and we should note that in order to learn from those evils and not do their like again, but overall for the most part we have been a force for good.  Enough of this; simply note that I am most thankful that my Dad chose to raise us as Americans, not Native Americans.  For me, Thanksgiving has meant a chance to take a few moments to be thankful for the Blessings that we have good lives, and for having a wonderful family.  That and to enjoy the good food of course.  Grandma of the House, Sharon's Mom, always used to make some of the food, and was a special part of our household.  This year I missed her, looking over to "her" table where she chose to eat and Sharon and, if we had more than the household over, a few of the other people would join her, and feeling sadness that she was no longer with us in this life.  The gathering of family and sometimes friends made this day special as well, though in recent years my declining ability to not get aggravated at little disruptions have kept me from wanting to bring in anyone who is not immediate family; perhaps I can recapture the old feelings of actually liking to be around people some day and can get this back.  I hope so.  Being me right now is not as fun as it used to be.

After a few weeks, where in most years work slows a bit and there are many festive get-togethers, is Christmas.  Merry Christmas.  Let me preface by saying that I did not grow up with a lot of religious input.  I believe that my parents believed in God, and were Christians, but they were not overly religious.  Thus they took the route that it is in belief and faith that we find salvation, rather than in displays of faith.  And that is the way I believe as well.  Perhaps a later post on religion will bring this into full focus, but for now I will say that I have enough personal and reported experiences which allow me to believe, and leave it there.  So yes, Christmas has a religious overtone for me, and was never allowed to be all about presents and the secular aspects.  My Dad's favorite Christmas music was Silent Night, and in this day I tend to be drawn most to the old favorites from times of faith that we are missing in this modern but not in all ways better time. 

Of course a huge part of the Christmas spirit is the kid's whole Santa Clause and the presents experience.  Much like Halloween, where some of my fondest memories go back to Kristi and Chip having, or appearing to have, a great time, many of my fondest Christmas memories revolve around their happiness and excitement as well.  We took the kids to see Santa, and I even played Santa once at Kristi's skating rink when they were a bit older.  For many years we really did a lot for Christmas, including making ornaments, setting up really nice trees, exterior and interior lights.  The kids helped as they grew enough to not destroy ornaments, and now much of what we do is their work.  We also had and have our family traditions, which I treasure.  For example, the rule was that they could not open presents until Mom and Dad were awake.  That way we did not miss the fun of watching them hopefully enjoy their gifts.  Grandma always participated as well, sometimes joining us in the living room, sometimes sitting in her favorite chair in the kitchen nook, and whoever was handing out presents so each can be unwrapped while all give the recipient some attention would take hers to her.  Good times with the family. 

New Years closes the season down.  Long ago I gave up drinking to much, and in the last few years neither Sharon nor I try to stay up late, but another day off is good, and it is fun to see some of the celebrations.  Part of that fun is watching a lot of people go to extreme lengths supposedly to have fun but not looking like they will remember anything the next day.  Schadenfreude is the German word that adequately describes this.  New Years is also a time to try and reset our paths, to make a new start in doing things that we know we let slip in the last year.  Not that that happens much, but I do think that I have been able to do this to some extent over the years.  Perhaps in a few days I will have a success again?

The holidays in January and February are only noted as time off, because right after New Year the work ramps back up and stress follows that as the hitched wagon follows the horse.  Still, days off are days off and the time spent at home is greatly valued.

Family History - Germany the First years

Dad had gone ahead of us since duty called, and somehow Mom took Sis and I to, I think, New York to catch a flight to Germany.  Those were the days of flying when overall safety might not have been as good as it is now due to older technology, but overall comfort was much better.  The cabin crew, otherwise known at the time as "stewardess" were nice and very attentive, provided Sis and me with small toys such as coloring books and talked with Mom and us as well as attending to the other passengers' comfort.  I have a vague memory, fueled by Mom's telling the story, that at first I did not want the shrimp cocktail that they offered but after tasting Mom's I wanted all I could get.  This continues to today. 

I remember looking out and seeing how far away the ocean was.  I think I slept for a while.  Eventually we got to Frankfurt, or perhaps Rhein Main, and there was Dad and an official car to drive us to Ramstein.  We were happy to see him, and I can't help but think that even at the tender age of 3 or 4 I must have looked at the German towns and countryside as we drove through it and wondered about this new to me but very old country.  To this day, driving around in Germany leaves me with a sense of well-managed age, with the background sounds a bit different, the cool dampness of the land offering a lift to the spirit, and, at least for small construction, the far better German construction codes giving their buildings a sense of permanence that ours will never have.  One thing that I do not remember and never asked my Mom was how she felt going back to what had been her second homeland; getting off the plane must have brought up a few concerns and perhaps some memories of a past that had ended only a few years before.

At first we lived in the small town of Ramstein, but I do not recall how long that was nor much about it.  There was a gate to our driveway, and nice people around, but that is as far as my memory allows me to travel.  Later, we settled into our quarters at Ramstein Air Base.  The housing area was, and may still be, apartment buildings of about six units wide by about four units high with basement storage.  They were painted in colors that were not quite weak enough to qualify as pastels, and were basically shaped like shoe boxes.  There was a playground in the square formed by every four buildings, with sandboxes, swings, and other basic playground equipment.  Life for us kids was good.  Get up, play, go back home to a loving mother who took excellent care of us and taught us good manners and how to behave.  Wait for Dad to come home.  We had friends, and I can remember a group of us deciding we wanted to dig all the way to China and spent several days in one sandbox with that fun but futile pursuit.  Dad went to work every day, he was an Intelligence Officer and had an office in The Cave.  The dependents were allowed to visit the offices once (I only remember once but it could have been once a year).  I remember the excitement of going into the area, how good it felt when I saw him, and how fun it was to see where Daddy worked.  He showed us his desk, and I noticed the maps and other items that had heavy covers on them.  Of course I asked what those where and why they were covered,  and he said maps and other things that were secret and so could not be seen.

One of the times that Dad had an exercise he called Mom, and a few moments later Sis and I were being dressed in "nice" clothes and being told in no uncertain terms that Dad was bringing a guest home for dinner and we were to be on our best behavior.  Dad arrived, and asked our guest to enter before he did.  The man, who was tall and dignified was not that old, and dressed in a German uniform.  He entered with a strong stride, and Mom greeted him in German and curtsied.  I had never seen anyone do that before.  I had no idea that my Mom even knew how to do that.  But there was no time to stare, because the guest shook my, and Sis' hands and than it was off to dinner.  I do not remember what we had, but I do remember the grown ups talking back and forth with interest and great depth.  The conversation continued after dinner until our guest left, with handshakes and good cheer.  It was only later, after I had learned some history, that I remembered what my Dad told me about our guest.  He said "If there was still a Holy roman Empire, that man would be the Emperor."  So I am thinking that he was either von Hapsburg or von Hohenzollern, and truly a nice person from the little time I knew him.

As one would expect, life went on, and not always in a good way for some in our little community.  One day Dad came home and told us that one of our neighbors, who's kids we played with, had been killed in an aircraft accident.  I asked why he just did not jump out with the parachute, and I was a bit surprised when he said that the plane did not have them, so it might have been a cargo aircraft.  Also, one of the base generals was killed when his parachute failed on a training jump, and of course that was a time of sadness too.  But overall, those years were pleasant for the Marshall family.

Incidents that stay in mind, despite the years:  During our time there they opened a new officer's club on base, and we would have a meal there once in a while.  There was a Chinese food restaurant in the basement, and I was surprised that the waiters spoke such good German since Mom talked to them in Deutsch.  Mom took us to see movies at the Base Theater a few times, and we saw one movie featuring the hero getting trapped in a room that filled with water.  Mom took Sis and me out of there during that scene, answering that we were to young to see stuff like that when we complained, but I think that her fear of being in confined spaces, that started during the war when she was trapped in a building that was bombed, must have kicked in big-time in that scene.  Years later I saw the movie on TV, and thought back to a time when life was simpler but in some ways darker.  I spent some time at various friends' apartments, and once in a while saw TV, which was something we did not have.  The only show I actually remember was when the Beatles came to America and were featured guests on  - I think - the Ed Sullivan show.  The crowd went crazy, and an era was born.  For some days later a bunch of us tried to sing Beatle songs, but my parents, who were great fans of classical music, told me to stop with the noise.  I had the first nightmare that I can still vividly recall while there ... of going into the base chapel and looking into a coffin that was on a dais, then falling in.  It was no ordinary coffin, because I went straight through the bottom and fell endlessly, past fierce demon heads that snapped at me as I fell, and snakes, and garish colors and things I know not what.

Dad bought a white VW Beatle, with a sunroof, and we traveled around a lot.  All over Germany, into France, to Austria.  By the time we left Germany we had over 200,000 kilometers on that car.  Once in a while, Mom or Dad would bring some C-rations (or maybe K-rations?) when they were sold at the Commissary.  Soon after that we would take a drive and have a picnic.  It was fun eating real Army food, even if some of the offerings were not as good as others.  At that time, there were many circuses in Germany, and we often went to them.  I remember bits and pieces of those shows.  Clowns, elephants, the big cat shows, acrobats etc.  Two incidents that stand out from the many memories of so many excellent acts:  First, my parents laughing when a women wearing a fur coat in the front row was sprayed by a tiger (good kitty!), second my Dad telling me that the guy performing the next act was world famous.  His name was Unos (spelling unknown) and his skill was to balance on one finger.  Mighty impressive indeed.  We took road trips, often to camp out in our big blue tent, most weekends when Dad did not have duty or was not studying for his degree in history at the University of Maryland, European division.  Getting that degree was one of his proudest moments.  The guest speaker was Doctor Arnold Toynbee, one of the greatest historians in history, and while I do not remember a word he said I do remember how much Dad respected him.  With his love of education, I'm sure that even back in those days I knew that getting a degree was something that I would have to do.  Camping, day trips, going to special places like Johanneskreuz (an inn out in the country), visits to castles, Rothenburg, family.  So many good memories of those trips around Germany.  We did so much family stuff. 

Even though at the time the military was woefully underpaid Sis and I had toys.  Perhaps not that many, but we relished those we had.  Most of my toy animals had made it from Florida, so I had those, though I missed the giraffe that had been lost.  Not that I remember many of the toys, but I do remember the toy chest that we were expected to put them in at the end of the day.  It was an old gear chest from Dad's time in the B-36s Mom said.  I had Lincoln Logs which I liked a lot even after I stepped on one and cut my eyebrow in the fall (no stitches since I promised not to scratch at it).  I also had a police equipment set including a toy gun and handcuffs.  The reason I remember this is that I was once considering trading the handcuffs for a toy a friend of mine had, then woke up apparently after dreaming that the deal had been made but realizing that I really liked my toy and asking Mom to check and make sure I had not made the trade.  Guess I woke her up to do so.  She was not angry at me for responding to a dream, which tells you that she was patient and kind, though she did expect you to do the best that you could.  She had a lot of patience for things that were not intentional or avoidable stupidity, and I am lucky to have been her son.

One day Dad came home and he and Mom talked earnestly for a while.  I heard bits and pieces, enough to know that something serious was going on.  He told her to buy a lot of easily stored food that they would put it in the basement, and that she was to be ready to take us and stay down there if the Soviets came across the border.  That must have been in response to the Cuban Missile Crisis, but at the time for us kids it was a bit scary but even moreso exciting.  I thought it might be fun to camp out in the basement, but we never did.  Eventually that threat passed, and we went on with our pleasant lives.  One night we were on a dark road somewhere in the countryside listening to Armed Forces Radio and the announcer came on and said that the President had been assassinated.  All was quiet for a while, then Dad said that even though he did not like Kennedy that no one had the right to kill our President.

Eventually I was old enough to go to school, and of course they had one on base.  It was a building that seemed large to me at the time, with a lot of people.  I took the 1st and 2nd grades there, and honestly do not remember much except one of my teachers being a young woman with brown hair, and falling downstairs once while embedded in a mass of students.  The fall may have been helped by a push or more likely an inadvertent bump, as I complained that someone had pushed me after tumbling down, and I ended up visiting the hospital and having the doctor tell my Mom and Dad that I should be fine but if some symptoms occurred to bring me back.  On the walks home, my friends and I talked, and sometimes told of the dreaded "Spanking Machine" that was the fate awaiting those who broke the rules.  Apparently the evil-doing student was put into the machine, and it would paddle him or her before spitting the now chastised child out to return to class.  Like all such stories, we all had heard of someone who had been through the ordeal, but somehow all of our little group had managed to escape the dire punishment.

Those were good days.  Of course they came to an end, but were, happily, replaced by more good days.  My Dad retired, after 24 years in the service, and like most heroes was forever after ignored by the government he had served.  His 15% disability from the scum at the bureaucratic disaster known as the Veterans Administration, after the horrible conditions he had endured as a POW, was an insult.  In those times I knew none of this and, as a young child will, simply followed to our next adventure which was living at Wernau am Neckar near good family.

Many years later, when I was constantly going to Germany on temporary duty in the mid 80s to early 90s, I spent a little time at Ramstein.  Of course I drove around, reawakened some old memories.  I saw the old apartment quarters, they were well maintained and still being used.  The theater, the chapel, pretty much everything was as I recalled.  I went to the club and had a meal downstairs, I seem to recall that the Chinese restaurant had been replaced.  Also, when I took my family to Germany when we were stationed on Crete we took a time driving around there, and of course I tortured them with tales of "back in the day".

The Election

Short and sweet:  We cannot afford to do things the liberal way anymore.

Bottom line:  Glad the Republicans won.  Now, much more important, is making the changes that need to be made if the USA is to correct her course into a better future instead of the dim sputtering's that we are headed towards.  Do it right, Republicans.  Reach out to the great center of political thought that is what the vast majority of our citizens believe in.  Do not cater to the extremists in your party, and do not allow the extremists in the other party to dominate our path forward anymore.

We need to reduce the national debt.  Best way is to eliminate several federal departments and a bunch of agencies and consolidate the few areas of their missions that makes sense for the federal government to have any concern with.  Trim all mission areas that the Federal government should not be in from the remaining units.  Change the Tax system to the Fair Tax model, thus eliminating political shenanigans such as the targeting of political organizations by the IRS, tax deals in exchange for political contributions (sorry big oil and big liberal donors who all still enjoy a free ride but be happy - the tax rate if we all pay will be less than the economy killing levels you would pay if you had not paid off the politicians) and the IRS itself which is nothing more than a waste filled anchor on American profitability and values.  Make welfare a benefit both to those receiving it and the country by eliminating high payouts while using the savings to expand it to those in need:  cut all the federal welfare programs down to one, eliminate the excess staffs, and provide those who cannot work with small but adequate accommodations, food that is plain but healthy, cloths that are low cost but sufficient, basic entertainment, the opportunity to re-school and "must use" birth control to prevent pregnancy while on the dole.  I know a lot of people will get fired up about this last one, but why should we pay welfare to people to have kids when they are unable to even take care of themselves?  Cut back regulations using a bi-partisan group whose goal is to eliminate any regulation that has a political gain from wither party as the goal, or that has failed to reach whatever high minded goal drove its creation.  Use that group to examine all federal outlays and consolidate those that are worth keeping into one department, and eliminating those that are not worth keeping.  Cut back support for labor unions.  No more "union shops" or laws supporting that archaic and wasteful concept.  Workers should have the right to waste their money paying for union bigwigs to live a life of ease while they sweat away doing a job, but those who do not want this should be free to work without being forced to slave for the non-producers.

We need to focus on making the USA strong, which means a strong defense, a strong diplomatic function, a strong economy. 

We need to secure our borders, and stop the flow of illegals into the country, and make an effort to deport those who a succession of administrations have allowed in.  I do not buy the argument that the illegals are needed to keep our economy going:  recall above that welfare will be restricted to those who cannot work.  That means those who can work will need jobs, and since they have no skills to offer in business' that need high skilled work they can take over in the low skilled professions the illegals are in and if they want seek training like so many others who have improved themselves and moved ahead with their lives. 

For the future, we need to refocus our schools.  Teach kids how to think, not what to think.  Teach the basics.  Cut all federal subsidies for colleges - they will learn quickly that nice to have but useless for the real life classes should be few and far between.  For elementary, middle and high schools, get away from anything that remotely approaches Standards of Learning or Common Core, and instead focus on teaching skills that will be needed in life.  The ideal system will recognize that not all should go to college, in fact probably only a fraction can get anything useful from going to a traditional college.  Instead, offer basic education for all, but vocational education for those who cannot and should not go for the university education.  There will also be those who cannot achieve either of those goals, for them teaching the basics including good citizenship will have to do.

Just do it my way and all will be well!  Of course I know this will be difficult and there are probably some mistakes in it, but overall this path will guide us toward success. 

Massive Multiplayer Role Playing Games

Yes, I have spent a good deal of time playing these since my first venture into Asheron's Call back in early 2000.  It has been fun, with the kids, wife, and friends (both real life friends playing and game friends who I have never met) contributing to the good times off and on over the years.  The story:

I first noticed a game called "Everquest" at Best Buy back in '99 or so.  An intriguing concept, playing online with a bunch of people from all over.  Being new product averse, I did not take the dive until a few months later and I saw Asheron's Call on the shelf.  Why not Everquest?  I don't know.  There was nothing "wrong" with the game, but for whatever reason I went with AC. 

Setting up my 'toons was fun.  While giving the game box one last look at the store I had met someone who said he played and so I knew what server to go to and what name to ask for, so I had a bit of help right off the bat in the form of suggestions and the like.  Georg Smashskull, an "unarmed warrior", was my first persona, and soon he had befriended a small group of fellow players.  Unarmed in this case meant that he had small weapons, such as the kater or hand wraps, not that he went into combat without weapons.  The theory, based on the information in game, was that unarmed warriors started off weak but became very powerful at higher levels (much like the Dungeons and Dragons monk), so I bit and went for that.  The first group of in game friends, none of whom I have ever met personally, included Barbed Wire, who made pains to note that he was a guy after a few people mistook him for a girl since he played a female character, Skorpio, a cop who tended to be the leader in our little group, Demon Bane an Aussie who was dependable and a good player, SnoMage, about whom I do not remember any details except that he was a good in game friend, and Pigroast who fits in the same category, were constant companions in those early days.  My contribution to the group was enthusiastic attacks and a willingness to support whatever crazy adventure the team decided to try, even though I found myself somewhat risk averse (hated to get killed in game, especially since that meant having to go recover corpses or lose valuable items).  Eventually the game introduced Allegiances, where groups of friends could gather to better share the game and experience points to increase in levels, and we - or at least most of us - joined Vrumor and his group in the Solar Empire.  Ra Rai Fen, Venus Virago, Be Not Afraid are all names from those who made an impression with their fair play and skills.  I had a friend from work who played a female character, deciding to try to emulate a female in game to see how girls were treated different.  His conclusion was that they are, being given many more benefits than the guy characters by other guys.  The adventures were nearly daily, and fun.  At first, the top level in game was 60, and as Georg came closer and closer to that I kept expecting that surge of power that had been hinted at, but it never came.  Even then, the discrimination in favor of mages became more and more obvious, and to a lesser extent archers as well.  Amongst the various types of melee choices the heavier weapons, such as swords, were dominant.  So a touch of dissatisfaction set in, and I created a few other characters, including the stalwart Orion Bearsun who was, if memory serves, a mage in the early days and who indeed did better than Georg.

Sharon never wanted to play, and at first the kids were content to sit by or on me and watch the game unfold like a TV drama while occasionally pushing a key when asked to do so.  Later Chip asked if he could have a character as well, so Ranger Hunter was summoned forth, and a short time later we bought his account.  He fit in well with the group, who protected him from some of the not-nice play that was going on from some, and so for a bit less than 4 years we had fun going on quests, finding houses close together when housing was introduced, and the like.

The computer capability has changed massively since those early days.  People today know nothing of the frustrations that we faced every month with slow and sometimes game-stopping patches, overcrowded servers that often led to slow service or even the frustrating "portal storms" that bump random players to random nearby places on the map, and the like.

Fun times.  There were certain quests, or areas, that were "better" than most others, and of course those were the places we often wanted to go.  So we spent a lot of time in or around Fort Tethana, since the merchants there bought goods at higher returns than anywhere else, and since the ability to level was greatly enhanced by the hordes of high level critters ripe to be hunted.  Of course they fought back, so you had to be cautious if you did not like spending time recovering items from your corpse, but with a good group we could usually win without any deaths.  The Halls of Methos was another good place, where my very poor jumping ability was displayed by often falling into the acid pit, but once that was crossed a good time was to be had hunting in the various underground areas.  A funny incident occurred in the Halls:  Two of our cats were very active wanting to be around us, and sometimes liked to be the center of attention when we were playing too.  I do not remember if it was Diamond Eyes or Little Foot, but one day I was about to try to jump the acid pit when one of the cats decided to do a "keyboard" walk.  I watched the screen as the character I was playing suddenly jumped into the pit.  But he never hit the acid!  The cat had caused the toon to jump right on top of one of the golems who live in the pit and so for some time "I" rode around like a king.

"Listening" to other's was sometimes fun as well.  One day selling some cheap armor and weapons gathered from a nearby battle in Holtsburg I heard a male character talking to some female character.  Suddenly he had a startling thought, and asked "How do I even know you are a girl?" which boiled down the whole feeling of near total anonymity that these games offer, but also the sense of detachment that the wise player adopts for some aspects of the social interactions.  Because you really do not know who you are playing with - girl, boy, young, old, nice, bad.  And there was no way to "prove" you were of one gender or the other.  So what if you sent a picture outside of the game, how did the other player know it was a picture of you?  Our allegiance contributed to this certain knowledge of uncertainty:  We had a web-site with a section where people could send pictures, one player chose to post a picture of him or herself that was of an attractive woman.  Soon thereafter one of our other allegiance members identified the picture as one of the leading porn stars of the time.

After about 3 years the gang started to break up.  This was a sad time, as without a group these games are a lot less fun.  I forget who left first, we kept playing but after some time the day came when Skopio was not on; while he came back on a day or so later his play became less and less frequent, and in a short time he simply stopped playing at all.  Over the next few months I paid the rent on his cottage hoping he would be back while still playing every day with the ever-shrinking group and having less and less fun as there were fewer and fewer quests we could do.  Several of us had exchanged email addresses, and Skorpio told me that his real world issues (religion among them) were needing more time.  I kept thinking that maybe the group just needed a break and would soon be back to having fun, but sadly that never happened    Eventually, I stopped paying his rent, in bitterness at his leaving, and went on playing though less and less often with those few who kept going, but the spell was broken and I did not even care to try and find new friends.

Sometime later I heard about Dark Age of Camelot, which offered a new and better graphics package and some new and exciting concepts in game.  It was a strong contender to move on to, but I resisted, since a few of the old friends still played AC (Pigroast, Lycentia, some of the Vrumor group).  But soon after Chip, who was 12 or 13, had a run in with one of the kids we played with who was a jerk but who he had for some reason befriended in game.  He responded by breaking from the guy, who was his patron, and the poorly designed game broke his ownership of his house which was quickly snatched up by another player.  Since having those two homes close together had become a Chip and Dad "thing" it was easy to move into DAoC and leave AC behind.

DAoC had some nice improvements, but also some of the old problems with frustrating game design and some new issues as well.  All of these games feature two distinct aspects that players often either love or hate:  Player vs. Environment (PvE) or Player vs. Player (PvP) as the "reason" for a given character's very existence.  PvE players do quests, desire to "beat" the game.  PvP players do quests mostly to get better (uber) gear so they can beat other players.  The PvP aspect was given greater prominence in DAoC than in AC, with huge areas of game map and character development devoted to it, whereas in AC PvP was a "by choice" part of the game.  In DAoC it seemed that so much of the game was PvP that not joining that aspect was to miss out, so I tried it and did not always do horribly bad.  Of course I never did wonderfully good either, at best helping the good players from our little war bands, but it was sort of fun.  I had tried PvP a bit in AC, and found that I neither liked it nor was that good.  The problem I think was that I was at a disadvantage, having spent the first 30 or so years of my life never having held a game controller, nor used a keyboard for anything other than work related or the relatively simple non-simulated combat related pursuits.  So the kids who had grown up gaming, who knew almost instinctively what keyboard buttons produced what response, who could move and fight without having to think, had a great advantage.  Losing almost every time was not fun, so the response was to not join in the activity that resulted in losing.   

Anyhow, Kristi got her own account, and Chip eventually started playing some futuristic first person shoot 'em up with great success.  Daughter met husband - though they got married only recently - in game, son became a very good gamer, including PvP, and soon the kids who I had introduced to gaming far surpassed me and moved on, and sadly we did not play much together.  So, though I had in game friends it was in this way not as fun as AC.  And the DAoC friends never took on the same level of comradeship as the old group in AC had.  Looking back, I cannot recall any of their names, nor can I recall many quests or adventures with them.

World of Warcraft started out a huge success and kept going from there.  The kids shifted over first, if I recall, and then I did and even Sharon decided to play.  Again, for a while we had a lot of fun.  Even though the kids soon wanted to do their own thing Sharon and I found some others who wanted to concentrate on the non-PvP aspects of the game to make up for the familial neglect.  But slowly, as we reached higher character levels, the game goal started to turn more to the concept that if you wanted the best gear you should play with massive groups for immense amounts of time, neither of which fit my requirements.  As a working guy I did not have endless amounts of time to spend playing, and that, along with not wanting to spend a lot of time in PvP (although WoW PvP was a little better than in DAoC) meant that I seldom was able to get any "uber" gear.  Drama occurred in a new guild that I tried after the first group fizzled, and with that fewer groups got together.  Which inevitably meant less fun which meant that sooner or later I would be leaving the game.  Still, WoW was good for a few years.

Several games followed.  In no particular order, since I do not remember, came Warhammer, Aion, and Rift.  Spent a few weeks in a game that was undergoing beta testing.  Unfortunately it had complex key combinations and almost 100% PvP as the default; the resulting victimization game play made it totally unfit for my tastes.  Perhaps there was one other game that made the grade for a while that did not make a big enough impact on me to remember.  None were great, all were fun for a while and had their own good-game aspects.  All had similar problems as WoW plus their own which were the result of poor planning and failure to learn from the mistakes of other games.  The worst offense for all of them was that none of them are suitable for high level solo play, and by this time I had been cured of the idea of making a lot of friends in game.  After WoW, where I had been in a couple of decent guilds, I found all future games to be populated by mostly unreliable and fairly self centered people.  So as the desire for solo play increased and the games offered nothing to support I tossed them aside fairly quickly.  Part of the lack of fun was not the fault of the games, rather it was the continuing distance that the kids kept.  But I can not blame them, after all who wants to play with the old dinosaur who can't play PvP effectively?  Who wants their private time intruded on by that same old dinosaur?  Understandable, but still a bit sad.  To borrow an idea from one of the really good movies:  It was my first experience of "The Circle of Life" as the old lion, only this time from the aspect of massive multiplayer games.

At some point daughter and boyfriend invited me to play DAoC with them again, and I jumped at the chance.  Finally back to playing with family members!  And they had a few friends who tolerated even my lack of skills.  For several months it was fun, we even had some success in the PvP area due to their high level skills.  Good times for me, though since it only lasted a short time I guess it was not good times for them.  Soon they moved to another game, while I did not want to go through the learning new keystroke combinations and game basics.  Once again DAoC began to be more drudgery than fun, and I tried WoW again.  And a most welcome surprise happened when the family all decided to try it together!  Again the kids, and wife, and I played together a few hours on the weekends, and that was some of the best time online I had had.  Our group started fresh, new characters on a new server, and we rocked!  But, after a few months the wife and I would log on and play, expecting the kids to come on sooner or later, which happened less and less often.  And eventually the old dinosaurs were left behind, and soon neither of us wanted to play anymore.  Phil and his family had been playing for some time, and Sharon and I spent some time in their guild, but by then we were already leaving the game mentally so unfortunately this did not last long, through no fault of theirs.  I think that was it for Sharon in MMRPGs, as in the last several years she has not responded to my offering to play again, though she did say that she had a lot of fun back when we used to play.

And now back to the game that started it all, to the beginning.  Chip started playing AC again a few years ago, and after some months convinced me to reactivate my old account.  It was fun, and we played together like in the old days, and we had some decent friends in the new allegiance to do cool quests.  It brought a touch of melancholy seeing some of the names of our old patrons and friends never light up indicating that they were on line, but after a short time hoping they would rejoin us, and even putting out calls to them on various forums, and getting no response, I moved on.  You who have any kind of pattern recognition already know what happened next.  Chip realized he had to study hard in order to get the grades he thrives on, and quit playing.  And now he is off to Japan to teach, gone I think forever from this, and perhaps all such games.  Good that he puts what is more important ahead of games, but even so when, a couple of weeks ago, I heard him tell Brandon - his friend from our early days here - that he had traded the gaming craze for school and (I think he added) work, it touched a momentary sadness that our fun on the computer together was now gone probably forever.  But with the current group of on-line friends there is still fun.

So I have carried on in AC, with the few constant players like Ygg, Nythak and Neo, and even including a very very few from the old days like Berek and Icedancer making the occasional appearance.  But even now I start to think at times about leaving, only this time I may be ready to give up altogether on the multiplayer games rather than try another one.  Several reasons:  There are to few people on that want to do the quests I need in order to get the gear that allows one to even live in the advanced areas of the game much less succeed.  And except for a little time during the weekends there are to few people on to do much questing at all.  Solo playability has not been improved, therefor there is limited time to do the really fun things.  I was excited about the next version of Everquest, where the players will impact the environment in ways I have wanted for years (build a tower and it stays in game, treat non player characters well and they will reciprocate, non player characters have lives and are going to change over time etc.) but it seems delayed, and somehow it does not excite me as I thought it would.  I conclude that I am tired.  Tired of disappointment in non-friendly and illogical game aspects (No real solo path to greatness, aspects like "How does a fierce beast with low intelligence and no hands carry gems, money, and items that it cannot use to be taken as treasure after you win the battle?"  and "How is it that dozens of raptors do not have hearts to be taken after battles when you need to collect a number of them for a quest?"  Etc, etc, ad infinitum) but even more tired of the endless stream of disappointments in having loved ones and in game friends stop playing.

And so it is today.  Not sure how long I want to continue, but I have one goal:  To get all of my original AC toons to the highest level, 275, some even strong enough to play in the advanced areas.  Perhaps after that occurs I will take all of my and Chip's original toons back to Hebian-To, jump them onto the big rock where the old gang used to gather to plan our next great adventure, and afterwards to chat a bit before logging out until the next time, and say goodbye to what has been a big part of my life for so many years. 

And another stray concept:  Imagine if the toons, which represent us real people, meet up with their friends in some alternate universes and continue the adventuring, the questing, the comradeship that make this genre so much fun.  But perhaps I will offer more on this some other time.

Good gaming!

World Cup Thoughts

Germany Wins!

Yes, I have two teams to cheer for in world soccer.  The US, and Germany.  Was glad to see the unexpectedly good run by the US; Klinsman has really done a job with the team.  It was interesting to have him pick Julian Green for the team, given that while Julian plays for the super-club Bayern Munchen he has, so far as I can tell, never played for them in a game that counts.  I agree with the theory that the selection was made to put a potential future great player on the US team, since Julian has a choice to go with Germany or the US due to his parents' nationalities.  In retrospect, his selection was the right choice, given that he scored on his first touch in his first World Cup game.  Overall a well balanced team, which might have gone even further if Altidore had not been injured in the first game.  Just seeing the US get out of the Group of Death, which I still believe should not have been able to be drawn, was fantastic.  Oh, why should it not have been able to be drawn?  Because just like the group that featured the Netherlands and Spain, this group featured two teams that should have been seeded.  Strange how FIFA favorite Brazil had what should have been an easy walk for them in their group, until Mexico had a strong showing and the referee -I heard- joined the Brazilians against Croatia.  But the US team provided thrills galore, and sparked good feelings for much of the Cup.  Exciting soccer indeed.  USA!  USA!  USA!!!!!!!!!!

I also like the Netherlands.  Became a fan when Chip chose to like them some years ago.  Was impressed with their play this World Cup, starting with the dismantlement of Spain.  Got tired of all the loser-whining by Mexican fans who, instead of being thrilled that their team had such an unexpectedly good Cup, insist despite clear video evidence that somehow they got robbed by bad refereeing.  To the whiners I say:  Look, a penalty was not called when your player ducked his face onto a high kick that barely brushed him.  If I were the ref I would not have called it either since your player put himself in danger.  Next you whine because Robben supposedly dove, which the video shows occurred once in the first half.  You fail to acknowledge that the ref missed one clear case where he was brought down in the box, also in the first half and should have been given a PK.  Even the Mexican announcer on ESPN agrees with this.  You also fail to acknowledge that the time he was finally awarded the PK that the video clearly shows he was tripped.  All your dive talking (yes a play on words) ignores that, and the rules of soccer.

A quick side note on soccer diving.  A lot of people think there is a lot of diving in soccer.  I will suggest that perhaps there is not as much as all that.  When a player is running, keeping control of the ball, faking opponents and the like they are, as Chip notes, running on the edge of balance.  It is not like they are enjoying a leisurely stroll.  They are nearly off balance, and anything that disrupts their foot placement or pushes their weight to the already over-balanced side will send them down.  Judge a player who goes down off of that criteria and stop whining!

Was surprised to see England and Spain out so fast.  My theory is that their coaches stuck with older, more established players instead of going with younger and/or more fit choices and the more established players were brought down by the heat and humidity of the host country.  Perhaps FIFA could take climate into account for future venues.  Oops, they already blew that for '22.  Well, if you insist on using soccer as a way to push some politically correct agenda, or after a nice payoff which many suspect, you are likely to get less powerful soccer.  Not a good thing for FIFA to do but who can stop the nonsense?  Of course after having the Cup handed to them by poor refereeing in '10 Spain deserved an early exit.  This time they did not have Germany engineered for failure by bogus calls that knocked Klose out of one game (that great German team overcame those bad calls by the Argentinian referee) and Mueller out of the Spanish game (weird how the Argentinians had two hand balls but no cards, but Mueller gets a card after the Argentinian plays the ball off his arm and kicks it against Mueller's arm a very few yards away).  Then there was the whole "never call Spain for obstructing Robben in the box" in the final that should have resulted in 2 or 3 PKs.  What a sorry excuse for a referee; when I heard that incompetent buffoon had been selected for this Cup I feared the worst and thought that it definitely is time for either FIFA to make much needed whole scale changes to improve the game or for that sorry organization to be replaced by one which is not corrupted by incompetence, political correctness, or greed.  End of rant.

Finally, the Germans.  A dominant performance against a decent Portuguese team hinted at greatness, but worries surfaced when a physical but not overly talented Ghanaian team was able to dominate before being tied near the end of the game (Klose - what a quality player.  It was a privilege watching you play all these years).  The team continued looking good but not finishing as many chances as they should have nor providing the sterling defense that would have made some of Neuer's efforts unnecessary until they hit Brazil.  Even when the Germans let down in the second half, Brazil could do little.  Like a thunderstorm hitting an outdoor wedding with to few umbrellas.  Yes, I know Brazil missed two key players.  But Neymar is not a defender, so unless you really want to argue that he could have pushed 6 goals do not come off with the quatsch that he would have solved the fundamental problems the host country's team obviously has.  And yes, some adult leadership by Silva might have kept Brazil's defense from melting like a wedding cake in the storm, but it is unlikely that given the German team finally putting a great offensive show that his efforts would have resulted in a "W" for the hosts.  In the final, Germany dominated but a tough Argentinian defense was hard to crack, and even the few times that the German defense failed, the attackers were unable to take difficult chances into success.  Yes, another case of a team playing for the PK end instead of to win playing soccer, and deservedly losing because of that.  Overall the refereeing was not to bad until extra time when the Argentines had spent their energy and should have had several cards, including two that would have had them playing a man down for bad tackles on the rock Schweinsteiger.  But all is well that ends well.  Schurrle's brilliant assist to Goetz's incredible shot was wunderbar!

It was good to see them win.  After so many years, so much frustration for a great team.  Thanks for the fantastic World Cup!

Happy Fourth of July

Happy Birthday USA.

OK, so we are not perfect - especially at this time.  But the foundations of the country are strong and good.  Our people keep for the most part good, not only developing better technology and "things" to live well, but also improving in ways that have in the past left many out in the cold.  Still a long way to go.  Still need to cut back where we have gone to far.  But we are improving.

Let us push together to improve even more.

For freedom!  For our rights!

TV Thoughts

In my lifetime a lot has changed in TV.  The first TV I had as a kid was one of the old consoles, which meant it took up a lot of space in depth as well as width and height compared to the size of the screen.  It was black and white, and we certainly had no more than the three channels that everyone else had.

When we were transferred to Germany, we left the old behemoth behind and for the 6 1/2 or 7 1/2 years away from the US had no TV of our own.  At Ramstein, friends of ours had a TV similar to the one we had in Ft Walton Beach, and it was there that I saw the late night show that was celebrated just a while ago:  The Beatles "landing in America".  When we moved out to Wernau, our neighbors the Zinns had a similar console TV and I recall seeing a show called "Orion 7", which was perhaps one of the first space adventure Sci Fi shows.  Also, my Uncle and Aunt the Bayer's had a TV and I recall seeing American movies there including Fort Apache, and wondering how the Native Americans and the cavalry troops spoke German.  We also saw German programing including I think soccer, thus making that fine sport likely the first I saw on TV.  Good times.  When we returned to the US, moving to Albuquerque, we stayed with friends en route the day after we landed in New York, and I think that may have been the first color TV I saw, and the show we saw after all us kids were sent downstairs was one of the Star Trek episodes.  Not long after buying our house near the Sandia mountains we bought a color TV, and the first thing I remember watching was my first football game.  It was the Rams, back when they were still in Los Angeles and had the Fearsome Foursome and Roman Gabriel on the team, making me a long time fan of that team until they left LA.  Back in those days there were regular hockey games on, and I recall becoming a fan of the Montreal Canadians and their stars such as The Pocket Rocket Henri Richard and The Roadrunner Yvan Cournoyer.  Watching these games  brought my Mom's memories of her time in Montreal back to her.

Over those early years, Sis and I were not allowed to see a lot of TV.  Cartoons were considered a waste of time and possibly even harmful (I think due to just being a waste of time), and the emphasis was always schoolwork and doing things like playing outside or with toys rather than just watching TV.  We did see shows in the evening, including the news, and I keep the impression that there was far less negative news, that indeed the journalists of that time were not nearly as partisan as they are now.  But I could be wrong, as I was younger and perhaps less observant in those days.  The shows tended to not try and solve social issues, which while making them simple to the point that many today think of them as lame also kept them from heading off into political correct stupidity which is one reason why many current shows have problems, in my opinion.  There were game shows, but none of the so called "reality shows" that are no more real than "Orion 7" but are often crass and a waste of time.  Life was good even without the garbage we are offered on so many of the dozens of channels that have sprung up since that time.

One of the things that I like about the old shows is that they often emphasize respect and understanding for elders.  Now, you might think those ideas are outdated and have no value, but think a moment:  Someday you will be old, and you will realize how often you were incredibly wrong or at least left others with no choice but to think that you were.  And you will realize at some point that if you had had a good person with some wisdom to help point you in the right direction, or if you had followed that persons advice, that life would have been far better off.  I do miss my parents, even now, and ask "what should I do Dad or Mom?" more often than I care to admit.  We see it at times here in the family.  A young un thinking he or she has everything under control only to need a retreat and restart after mistakes are made.  And yet no one blinks an eye when a show features the college aged daughter giving her parents a lot of grief because they do not trust that she is doing anything to secure her future.  To follow on that, the show decides to make her look like the smart one and her parents look like they were dolts when they try to help get her on track and it turns out that she really has been doing something all this time that was not leading to her demise as a useful person.  Perhaps a touch of the world of reality would be good with the parents stopping her temper tantrum by saying something to the effect that she had shown no evidence of working on her future, and that if she wants people who care about her to believe in her that she needs to talk to them instead of just assuming that they will see that she has things under control?

Overall, there are enough shows that are worth watching to keep me entertained, but just barely.  Good crime dramas head the list, and some decent comedies fill in much of the rest.  Most of us in the house like NCIS, and CSI, which for the last few years have been the top shows of their type on US TV.  Bones, Castle, Elementary, The Mentalist, and the excellent British show Sherlock all provide good entertainment in that genre.  Longmire seems to have fallen off the schedule which is to bad since we liked it enough to consider checking out Wyoming as a possible retirement destination.  Add The Walking Dead for zombie drama and a great chance to wonder how any of the characters survive, except Michonne who has both a true warrior spirit and the brains to not make laughably bad decisions.  Also add pure humor from Modern Family and The Big Bang Theory (although we are not nearly as fanatical about TBBT as we were in the earlier seasons).  A few home improvement/ home search shows are fun, and some of the family enjoys a go at The Voice for some reason that escapes me since few of the songs are worth even one listen and most of the singers are barely better than the sorry crop of mainstream pop tartlets who have so little talent beyond shaking their booty and other assets.  Perhaps the most fascinating channel we watch is NHK, a Japanese channel produced for the US audience.  A lot of good shows come out of NHK.  To be good, in my not so humble opinion, you need to stay away from politics and political correctness, unless you show each side equally.

New Family Member

It is with great happiness that we welcomed Chloe Elise into our family Thursday 17 April 2014.  Mother and child seemed headed for an Easter birth when Sharon and Kristi were rear ended in a relatively minor accident last Wednesday.  Labor ensued, and very early on the 17th they and Chris made a beeline to the hospital.  Suffice to say labor was not easy, and at 09:33 the 10 pound 21 inch little one first saw the light of electric bulbs.  Mother and child did well, coming home Saturday, and they are both here learning their new rolls.  Chloe was formally welcomed with the playing of the Ode to Joy on Sunday, which - as expected - she enjoyed a lot.

Sharon and I are ecstatic to be Grandparents, and Chip is likewise happy to be an Uncle.  I have a nickname for her, but those who need to know it already do.

Famous people (well sort of) I have seen in the Pentagon

Yes, sometimes I see famous people in the P-gon.  And they are real!  I will restrict this to people whose names I remember.  There have been others, mostly performers who come by to lift the spirits, but I do not recall who they are.

The first famous person incident was when I was a captain, or perhaps still a lieutenant.  I was there TDY, and I was in "move fast" mode since I had to get myself and the slides (the rumors are true; in the days when dinosaurs roamed the earth we had to make slides on clear plastic instead of sending electrons out for our briefings) to a briefing, and that young officer was not going to be late.  So I was zipping through one of the rings of the Pentagon at high speed, hugging the right hand wall.  Perhaps it was some talking that warned me that there was oncoming traffic, and I turned myself sideways as I turned one of the corners just in time to avoid a short distinguished looking man and his two or three military escorts.  He also moved out of the way, and gave me a glance and a brief smile.  I may have apologized as I kept going, but even though he kind of looked familiar I did not stop, or even slow down.  Later my brain finally figured out who I had almost flattened:  Casper Weinberger, Secretary of Defense.

On another TDY I had a little extra time and was walking around in the executive office area.  While passing the doors to the River Entrance I saw Collin Powell exiting the building.  He gave me a quick look which was cool.  This was in his glory days, while he was still Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff.

A year or so after my retirement I was working in the Pentagon.  At about the same time I had gone to work for the Joint Chiefs of Staff Gen Richard Meyer had become Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff.  I have a lot of respect for him, since 911 and the resulting wars started shortly after he arrived, and from all that I know he served well as our Chairman, even though he came in during a very difficult time.  Anyhow, one day I was clearing my head by walking around in the building, and was in a not overly busy or noteworthy corridor.  I noticed that  a fairly tall man was slowly coming toward me, kind of leaning over to his left as he walked holding a small child's upstretched hand.  Soon I recognized Gen Meyer.  He was holding the hand of a wee little girl, who was probably 2 or so, who was looking up and giggling and chattering to one of the most important men in the world, but who for a short time was just her granddad (my guess) spending time with her.  To this day that picture makes me smile and helps keep things in perspective:  Take some time to do things with your family.  Family is important!

The big one.  A few days after 911 we were allowed back into the building, which was important since their was soon to be a war and our support was needed.  Recall that at this time there was a lot of damage to the building, and from what we heard there could still have been some fires burning from the attack.  It was around 11am, and I headed up our nearby ramp to get some lunch in the large cafeteria on the second floor.  As I got close, I noticed that there was a crowd, and heard cheering from inside the eating area.  Eventually I made it to a door, and peeking in saw several distinguished looking people, one of who was giving remarks about the current situation.  He looked sort of familiar.  And then it hit me:  I was seeing George Bush, President of the United States, Condi Rice, National Security Advisor, and Donald Rumsfeld, Secretary of Defense.  And a few Secret Service agents.  After his remarks, the group headed out of the cafeteria into the mob in the walkways.  The President could have made a beeline down the corridor to get out of the building, especially since security had a path open for him, but instead started walking into the crowd, shaking hands, sharing a few words with us.  A man called out "You da man!" and he, and we the crowd, acknowledged that.  The crowd was his; the power, the charisma, the honor he was showing us swept us up, gave us a sense of pride and purpose.  The Secret Service agents, and the two other big dogs, looked somewhat amused.  I caught the eye of one of the Secret Service agents and he seemed to have a "what can you do" look; thinking about it he probably was not worried about an attack on the President from our crowd.  Then the President headed towards me.  He looked me in the eyes for a few seconds, a serious look indeed, gave me the barest hint of a nod, and moved on.  Shortly after, the group headed out with our cheers ringing in the building.

Family History: Earliest Memories

I do not remember anything before our time at Eglin AFB.  From some family papers I have read and some memories from a later time I know that we lived in Ft Walton Beach, FL.  Dad and Mom bought the house; the later memories came as they were selling it some years later.  The memories of that time are sparse and fragmentary, or at least most of them are.  Playing with the neighborhood kids, including tying one slightly older kid to a tree and a bunch of us running around him whooping and hollering and pretending to be wild Indians.  Riding around on my Dad's shoulders as he crawled around while planting rose bushes, with Mom helping but mostly taking care of Sis and sometimes me.  Being told to stay away from those tall mounds in the back yard, then climbing up on one to look over the fence, then screaming as the large red ants swarmed over me and started stinging.  Mom, always paying closer attention than I knew, was out there in a flash carrying me into the house, and either she or Dad got the tub started to wash the ants off.  I have a sense that she applied some remedy to the bites as well, but definitely remember being told that I should have obeyed the original instruction to stay away from the mound in the first place.  I also remember agreeing with that assessment and the wisdom of the added instruction to do what my parents told me to.  Another cool memory is going to the airshow on base, a basic memory of a lot of people, airplanes on display.  And the huge hanger that we visited where a loud "brrrrp brrrrrp" noise drew me in.  The display was an aircraft machine gun, a big cylinder with a relatively short muzzle aimed at a wall of sandbags.  People were allowed to fire off a few rounds, with a rope that ended a few feet away from the gun.  I asked Dad, who I think was a Captain at the time, if I could make it make the noise too, and he said "Ask the Chief".  So I did.  The big man smiled, looked at Dad who must have nodded, and the next thing I knew I had the rope in hand and was being given instructions on what to do.  I smile as I remember how it sounded a lot louder when I was closer like that, and I must have been surprised and perhaps jumped or called out because a lot of the people who had stopped to watch the little kid fire the gun smiled or laughed.  I get the feeling that Dad and Mom were proud of what I had done to be allowed to fire the gun, and of how I handled myself when I fired it.  We had a TV, one of the old black and white big deep ones with rabbit ears.  I remember watching it with the family, but not what I saw.  And I remember our old car, a green and white beast with fins, and evening rides where Dad would take us along a road that had several small hills, so when you drove the up and down variations were fast enough to produce some fun sensations.  When we were getting ready to move, my parents asked about what color I wanted my room painted, and I said black.  Discussion followed, and only the understanding that with black walls I would not be able to see the shadow puppets that Dad displayed once in a while convinced me to go for white.  But the most vivid memory I have was almost being kidnapped.

It happened while Dad was TDY somewhere.  I was outside playing (I do not remember any other kids being there) when a car pulled up and a man called me to come over.  He had a gray suit, and a gray hat as was probably typical for the very late 50s or early 60s.  Of course I had been warned about not going close to strangers, even if they offered me something I wanted.  So I only took a very few steps toward the car and stopped even when he offered candy and toys.  It took only a moment for my indecision to turn into total refusal.  I feared my Mother's anger more than I wanted any toy or any amount of candy, which is as it should be, and perhaps by then my gut was telling me that this was wrong.  He got out of the car, apparently deciding to take me even if I did not come close, and by then I knew something was very wrong with this, and backed up.  The front door slammed open, and a fierce lion came forth to defend her cub, for my Mother had seen what was happening and came out yelling at me to come and for the man to go.  I believe she threatened him; at the very least I knew she was not afraid to attack him if that was what it would take.  He got back in the car, and the driver sped off.  A little later a plain cloths policeman (not sure what agency) showed up, and I was questioned.  I remember with a sense of great pride that my Mom answered a question about her ability to defend us by showing the officer the handgun that I had not even known we had until then, and hearing her state that she could put all six rounds in a target the size of a hand.  I offered to show the policeman my cap pistol if he would let me see his gun, but being the professional he was he declined.  He stayed over for a night or so, sleeping in the recliner, but as far as I know the kidnappers never returned.

So the question is, who were they?  I may have heard my parents speculate that they could have been trying to take me so that Dad would compromise secrets, which today I do not think as plausible since it is unlikely that the Russians or other communist countries would try something which had a fairly high risk of resulting in unfavorable press even if they had agents in the area.  We did not have much money, since in those days our military were greatly underpaid and we had no other income than Dad's pay.  Which leaves the most likely solution that they were racists who were targeting us because Dad was a full blooded American Indian and Mom was as white as new fallen snow.  We will never know, probably.

In any event, our next move was to Ramstein AB, Germany.  Truly a life altering path was now taken.

Another Year, and Sadness in Our Home

No, I did not publish a "Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year" post this year, or anything for a long time, although I now belatedly offer warm sentiments to my few readers.  My excuse is that I am being worn down.  Life keeps throwing stress in the form of worry and the occasional major loss at us and is winning that fight. 

The economy still sucks, job security is still low, and the government's flailing to keep the ruling party in power continues to neither help us nor secure the future.  These factors have not changed for most of five years now and are great sources of stress.

For our family, in addition to the above, we lost a close member.  For over 19 years Juanita Stewart, Sharon's mom, lived with us.  Her older daughter had died when a sudden rainstorm turned the water run-off channel of a road she was crossing into to torrent of rushing water and she tried to drive across it and was washed away by  a sudden high wall of water, and so we invited her to stay with us.  From the start, she did much to fit in.  She babysat the kids, taught them how to cook, offered advice, helped with the bills, and was, the way I recall, a generally nice though sad lady who would ramble on in getting to a point but who loved us all.  Grandma of the House (GotH) as I called her could not open up and be the happy cuddly kind of Grandma, and she occasionally would tell the kids how to do things in the kitchen when they thought they were beyond needing help, which led to some unkind grumpiness at times.  She also had severe osteoporosis, which in watching her deal with it over the last few years had me admiring her ability to live with that debilitating condition and also wondering when the medical community is going to get on with developing some real cures for it.  She liked birds, and had several bird identification books, and flowers, and the small critters that often wandered in our yard.  For years she went for walks, or shopping and visits to the doctors who over time became more and more her reason for going out, and kept active with her slow, short steps.  As Sharon said, her Mom was one of her best friends, and they spent a lot of time together talking, or just watching TV.  Juanita  sometimes got frustrated, or was in pain, which meant that the person or people near her would need to be sympathetic and helpful.  Sometimes those with a bit less wisdom would get upset at her; to them I say "lets see how you are doing when you hit your 70s and 80s".

I mentioned in a previous post about all the change that she saw.  She also had a difficult life beyond the early years where her family got through the Great Depression.  She was one of several kids (7 I think) and her favorite Sister was killed in an automobile accident when in her late teens.  I believe that made her somewhat nonreligious, despite her father being a preacher.  It also probably made her somewhat bitter overall, keeping her from becoming close to others over the years.  Very sad, but at heart she was still a good and kind person, though some probably did not see that.  Her parents, especially her father, were apparently difficult people, very strict and not easy to be close to.  She worked for a while as a telephone operator, which she talked about once in a way that showed pride and happiness in being successful in that.  At some point she married her only husband, Merrill (spelling may be wrong) also known as "Red" who was an Air Force enlisted maintenance troop.  He worked on the U-2s, one of the wonders of aviation during the late 1950s and 1960s.  She went with him to at least two exotic locations:  Algeria and Japan.  Recall that this was not long after World War II, so Japan at that time was still smarting from being defeated, and was desperately trying to dig out from the severe loses they had taken.  Juanita's time in those countries was, I gather, stressful since she had never been outside the US and here she was going into fundamentally different cultures.  But she got through these experiences as she did so many others.  Their marriage produced two children, Sharon and her older sister Margie.  Margie had some serious mental health issues, though whenever I met her she was nice.  Eventually the marriage broke up, and Juanita stayed in Mountain Home ID while Merrill moved on.

When I met her in Mt Goat (the very unofficial Air Force nickname for Mt Home, ID) she had been the chief cook at the Mt Home city hospital for many years.  She maintained her house, with Sharon, and I recall the first time Sharon took me over to meet her she was mowing the lawn.  We had a pleasant meeting and I was impressed that she did so much despite already showing signs of having osteoporosis.  Over time I became more impressed with all she did, and that respect lasted.  One major cause for respect was her ability to quit smoking.  Apparently she had smoked for many years, but at some point she decided to quit and did so.  A strong willed woman, indeed.  After Sharon and I married and moved to Albuquerque we exchanged visits occasionally, with Juanita driving down in an old small red car and always being nice.  She eventually retired, then moved in with Margie in Tucson, where she kept busy working at Burger King until Margie's accident.

So, getting back to the near past.  Over the years her health had started to decline.  The wasting of her bones led to some bone breaks and hospital stays.  But in October (if memory serves) she started having problems breathing and with some chest issues, and she was diagnosed with COPD and a failing heart.  From there on, Sharon became her primary care giver, and was wonderful for her Mom.  For two weeks Juanita was in the hospital, and foolishly I thought that modern medicine would be able to cure her.  They assigned home care nurses and physical therapists, an oxygen generator, and medicines when she came home.  This seemed at first to help, with GotH even going out one last time to shop, though Sharon said she did not do well on that trip.  I noticed that sometimes she seemed to make some progress, but more often there was some decline.  And so it was.  The day her home care benefits ran out her nurse told Sharon that Juanita would not be getting better, that her symptoms were bad enough to justify hospice.  She did not expect Juanita would die for over six months, but that she would not last much longer than that.  The next day she had a heart attack in the morning after she and Sharon had had their morning chat, apparently as Sharon was driving to work, and died instantly. 

I miss her.

Family History - Kids, our Early Years

Our time at Walker AFB, near Roswell NM was good, from what Mom told me.  Since Dad did not mention it, I gather he had a good time as well since if Mom liked it is highly likely that he did.  They were just that kind of couple.  Dad's assignment was as a bombardier in the B-36 Peacemaker, one of the biggest propeller driven aircraft ever made. The Peacemaker was designed to drop nucs.  From what I understand now, part of the bombardier's job entailed going back to the bombs and arming them during flight as well as directing the plane to the bomb release point.  Hard to imagine being around that immense amount of nuclear power, actually unlocking the fail safe in preparation to destroy an entire base, or whatever the target would have been.

As mentioned, I was created a conjoined twin (thighs and knees) and we tore apart about a month before I was due.  After spending time in the incubator after the surgery needed to repair the damage caused by the sudden separation I went home to our quarters on base.  The doctor told my parents that I would always have weak knees, though they never told me if that was internal to the knee or just because of the damage done over the patella that occurred as I pulled away from my twin.  The scars seem to be on the surface only, and I am fairly sure that the pain and other symptoms in my left knee are the result of the malpractice from Air Force medicine's failure to properly diagnose an injury during my first assignment and not from my birth trauma.  But back to the story:  Mom told me that the house was under the flight path of the massive B-36's, and that when they would take off the whole house shook to the point where we had cracks in the ceiling.  She said I loved the noise and vibration, but that she was concerned.  Having spent time under air attack in World War II, and having been trapped in a collapsed building in Vienna that collapsed due to bombing, it should not be considered surprising that she was less thrilled about the magnificent roar that the Peacemakers made than I was.  I have no first hand memories of that time, but a few stories from Mom and Dad remain:

To set the stage:  During this time the US and the USSR (for you young ones who have or will suffer through the ever more useless baby-sitting that carries the name public schooling now), that was what Russia and the countries that communist state annexed after World War I was called until the West, using the principles of democracy and capitalism, beat them to a pulp with almost no violence over the span of 45 years were Cold War enemies, pretending to be OK with each other's existence but in reality worried that the other would launch a surprise attack and win while wanting nothing more than to defeat the other if they could.  The world mostly divided into three spheres of influence:  The West primarily US, Western Europe, and a few other democracies or friendly aligned nations, the East primarily the USSR and Eastern Europe sort of with but sometimes definitely without China and a few other socialist nations, and the Nonaligned Nations who tried to steer clear of both blocks.  Many countries each built huge military forces, since in the time before advanced technology you really needed a big military to win against another big military.  

Once, when the Soviets were being particularly annoying, two Peacemaker's from Walker were sent to get them back to reality with a demonstration of their vulnerability under the Communist boot.  This was back in the days before surface to air missiles, and when the typical Soviet solution to a military need was to build a lot fast and not worry much about capability.  So they had a lot of fighters, but they did not have a fighter that could threaten the B-36 at the altitude that our bomber could reach.  Our planes flew out to Moscow, circled the city, and came home.  I can only imagine with a smile how much anger and embarrassment that caused the Soviets as the hated Yankee Imperialists showed them how vulnerable they were despite all the propaganda that they had been spewing about the superiority of their political and economic system that even back in those days was starting to unravel.  A word to the wise:  Socialism/communism failed the USSR, and if we keep trying to push that system here like we are now it will fail here as well.  Do not believe the liars telling you otherwise!

The Peacemakers often deployed to Alaskan bases in times of tension or for training.  They also had immediate response drills when they would be alerted to fly to Alaska but would not actually fly there.  Using Alaskan air bases was a good idea, since obviously Alaska is a lot closer to the targets they would have been hitting than Walker.  The crew members had cold weather gear chests to take with them for these often no-notice immediate response trips.  Apparently one of Dad's crew mates used his cold weather chest to store his dirty laundry, and once brought it on board filled with that.  Perhaps he thought this was to be one of the drills that did not end up in Alaska, but his thinking was incorrect and a few hours later he was trying to stay warm in gear suited for the southern New Mexico climate rather than the Alaska cold.  I believe Dad noted that this was a one time occurrence.

From there, we went to Texas for Dad's next assignment.  If I remember correctly, that was training to be an Intelligence Officer at Ft. Worth.  Of course Dad having been in IN means that there are no stories from that time; that is just the nature of that field.  But a big change to the family did occur while on that assignment.  My sister, Elizabeth, was born on Halloween of (I think) 1958.  Remind me to look through the family papers to confirm the year.  The date I am sure of, because for some reason for  years we celebrated one day off of this.  I have no clue as to how that happened, but I happened to be in the room when Mom read Sis' birth certificate one day and looked a little shocked or confused and mentioned it to Dad.  Perhaps she was born near the end or beginning of a day and my parents, relieved at her healthy birth, did not check to ascertain the date.